The first time a person spends 10 minutes in ones very own deep silence and listens to it, one will experience an feeling of true peace and great freedom.
Soon after that this first peace disappears – and gives way to a diffuse, dull discomforting feeling. Dark thoughts arise, problems and unresolved situations. Scenes from childhood can emerge. Seemingly bottomless anger comes up. This is the hell of our repressed thoughts and feelings. It is not new, it has been waiting a long time to erupt. Until now it was under a heavy concrete slab, carefully hidden from us. So far it has only expressed itself in a dull discomfort, self-doubt, fatigue and listlessness. Until now its slowly escaping smoke came steady, but always only tormented us in small doses. Now we have lifted the lid. We have turned off our repression mechanisms for a little while: The hyperactivity that many drugs and addictions (alcoholism, workaholism, “eating-addiction”, trying to please, to be a victim, power addiction, television addiction, talking-addiction, writing addiction , etc.)
The attention that we normally pay to those thoughts and feelings of other people, is now in our own and in the beginning it hurts. We suddenly realize how much we have neglected our precious interior all these years.
Just as one lets the exiting passengers off the train first before you can enter yourself, we should let these negative feelings and thoughts come out. Look at the shadow, the loud “No!” unintentionally, and watch what happens. If everything is unloaded, you can enter. The “Yes!” will the follow by itself.
All the bad thoughts and feelings have a good reason to come up. Therefore it is very important not to fight or to suppress them. Don’t rebel against them. If we fight against the shadow, they are getting longer and stronger.
The only way that really helps is to turn to the light.
Look for perception, God and light and love from within you.
Truly take in the shadows and look at them with tolerance and devotion until you can honestly say: “Yes, they are there – and they can stay” No hint of resentment towards them may continue to exist.
Feelings must stay parallel to the perception of the truth. Healing does not come by you but only of the perception of the present and the name of Christ.
Pain is like a wound. We devote all necessary attention to it. We wash, disinfect and bandage them. But then we go back to work. It will hurt a little, but we no longer need to take care of them. It will heal itself