Posts tagged crisis

Role reversal

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If you have fight with someone, slip through thoughts and words into his/her role in a personal meeting. Mirror the ideas of others. Think like him/her and try to understand his/her motives better he/she understands them. Then attempt to find a common alternative.

Background and Effect:

The identification with the ideals and ideas of the other means that we develop an understanding of his/her situation. (Method of the Hawaiian Kahunas).

STOP negative feelings

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When destructive thoughts, feelings and expectations come up – say loudly inside of you:
– “STOP!”
– Accept and respect your feelings: Look at them fondly and let them be there. Say, “I know that you have a good reason to be there.”
– Talk to your child, tell it that it is safe, that it is OK and lovable and that you’ll take care of the pain.
– Let go of the anger: don’t pay attention to these feelings and don’t nurture them no more.
– Shake it off: shake vigorously, do something crazy, let go of your anger without acting with revenge on others. Jump or chop wood. Speak to the anger: “Yes, damn, you got me again – shake me vigorously, then it will be ok.”
– Recognize: the other isn’t to blame for your feelings, but your own wound that has been touched.
– Call the divine grace: ask the highest power in you for help and protection. She will grant it.
– Learn: Try to recognize what this anger was meant to say to you. Was it a sign that you’ve forgotten something? Or that you yourself can learn something here?
– Think about yourself: Ask your heart, where it would be like and what it would like to do.

Background and effect:
The stop technique gets us out of feeling like fainting circuits that have guided us in early childhood situations and the associated negative feelings. We make ourselves aware of the fact that we are not our feelings, but consciousness and Spirit – and thus can always get out of negative emotional circuits.

Turn to your heart (Sufi Nidiaye)

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If you want to free yourself from the involvement with thoughts and feelings and discover your heart, then sum up the first act. The decision might be: “From now on I’ll keep my attention on my heart.”
Then practice to use your intuition and listen to your heart in every situation, every encounter and with every decision you make. Feel your breath in the center of your chest and your heart as a sentient being.
If you start to draw attention to your heart and to practice it day by day, feelings will emerge in your consciousness that were previously displaced from it. These feelings need your attention. Welcome them, whatever they were and take them in your heart.
You don’t have to analyze or assess, classify or overcome them; only let them into your heart. That’s all they need to transform themselves. (…)

Background and Effect:
The touch of the heart means that a person no longer hides his pain from himself, but dares to feel, to appreciate and to accept it.

The understanding of the heart means that the person understands and loves himself for that he has suffered so much.
The surrounding of the heart means that the person touches and understands every particle of pain with every fiber of his consciousness. For the heart it does not matter whether a pain comes from this or that person; it takes care of any pain, meets and embraces it. A pain that is rejected by the hearts turns into sorrow, a pain that is accepted by the heart, is transformed into joy.
From the Book of Sufi Nidiaye: The Path of the Heart

Stop pain now (Eckhart Tolle)

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Make a simple but radical decision and feel it intensely: “No matter what happens, I’m going to create no more pain I will create no more problems.”

Background and Effect:
Although this is an easy choice it is very radical. You will not make it before you’re not really through with suffering; before you did not really have enough. And you’ll only be able to go through with it when you access the power of now. If you create no more pain for you, you will also create no more pain for others. And even our beautiful earth, you will no longer pollute with the negativity of the creation of problems.

(Source: Eckhart Tolle: Now!)

Resolve major problems

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If you have a problem that seems overwhelming to you, gather the facts first! Ask the following questions and answer yourself right away:
– What is the problem?
– What is the cause?
– What solutions are possible?
– What is the best solution?

Background and Effect:
Problems become overpowering if we believe that we have no influence on their development. If we feel driven by them and follow their development, rather than to actively state our wishes. Problems are only problems because we haven’t understood the new development that came into our life. That is why it is important to look at the problem on as many levels as possible and seek a solution. If all options are on the table, it’s easy to find a solution! (loosely based on Dale Carnegie)

Solve the Gordian knot

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If you’re in a very muddled situation and don’t see a way out jump straight into the biggest problem without regarding possible losses. Say and act just very strongly on how you feel in the moment.
Then stop at and see what happens.

Background & Impact:
The Gordian knot was originally made by the gods artfully knotted ropes on the chariot of King Gordius of Phrygia. They connected the shaft of the car dedicated to Zeus inextricably with the saddle. An oracle prophesied that only he could gain the reign over Asia who could untie the knot. Alexander the Great is known to have cut the knot with his sword in the spring of 334/333 BC to begin his subsequent triumphant march through Asia.
If we are separated for too long from our inner realization or if our mind has developed strong ideas about what should be, a contradiction arises between our determination and our current path. The outer world reflects that, by many problems, confusing and seemingly unsolvable situations and feelings. If we cannot solve it through other, more gentle methods, we might be able see the problem when we cut right into the whole situation.
Watch out, be prepared for pieces flying all around you!

The eye of the cyclone

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If you’re in a severe emotional crisis and your thoughts feel like a carousel – imagine that you are inside of a gigantic storm, a hurricane. Imagine this hurricane, its storm clouds and taking everything but the kitchen sink and throw it high into the air. Imagine that you are in the middle of this tropical storm, and huge gusts of wind tear on your body, let dust and soil pinch against your skin, and every now and then you get hit by a stone or the branch of a tree. You feel the vibration on your body, but no pain. You can hardly hold on with the hurricane shaking you so strongly. The wind roars around your ears with a wild, terrible howling. Finally, imagine how you let go and fly in circles with wind. Hear the roar of the wind, see the country side passing by and all objects in the cyclone.
Then move towards the center of the storm where the wind becomes weaker with time and then stops altogether. In this little area right in the middle of the hurricane, it is perfectly quiet. You hear only a distant faint roar of the wind, otherwise it is quiet. Dark clouds tower around you, but the sun shines above you and on the ground on which you stand.
Enjoy the calm in the eye of the cyclone. Imagine how your mind is relaxed. See your thoughts and life dramas chase around you like storm squalls but don’t let their energy get you, but stay away from them and watch them.

Background and Effect:
Caused by improper thoughts in ourselves our feelings can sometimes become a veritable hurricane that carries and rips away our capacity for being and for watching without judgment. The image of the quiet center of the storm  helps us to reach this calm center amidst the drama and take a new position again.

Blank forgiveness (Serge King)

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When a sudden pain, anger, rage, confusion or fear hits it has reminded us of a long-gone great pain. Create relief by forgiving: “Whatever it is and whatever caused it – I completely forgive it and it is no longer important”

Background & Impact

Often unconscious beliefs work in the background, especially feelings of guilt and anger at ourselves. As soon as we can forgive this, the pain and the unpleasant pattern can be resolved.

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