Partner Exercises

Family Constellations


During the family constellation by Bert Hellinger answers to personal or general questions can be found by group dynamics. Therefore one person (either the manager / questioner, director, or the participants themselves) selects a representative intuitively in accordance to an earlier question among those present. These are placed intuitively in the room. Due to the developing psychological dynamics the representative feels like the represented people or things after a time of collection and can therefore provide information about mechanisms and involvement within the system without the mirrored people or things having to be present.
Usually it’s about the family of the creator (parents, children, grandparents, fiancé, etc.), though also companies or abstract questions (“how is the next election going to end”) can be placed.

By rearranging, questioning the Deputy about his/her emotional state, and letting-to-talk solving phrases and gestures (eg, “I’ll give you the honor,” “what ever you have with the Papa / Mama, is not my business”, “I’m the only the little one, you are the big one”), the conductor can find a nice solution for all parties involved. Pathogenic entanglements can thus be transformed and changed with new attitudes to healing solutions. The unconscious images allowing the participants new attitudes and positions in later life, without necessarily having to do anything. Participants are even encouraged to not speak about the experience but to let it be.

Background & Impact:
Using the family (family constellation, organizational setup, system installation, Systemic Structural Constellations, team formation and sculpture / family therapy) you use the phenomenon of channeling – People who are voluntary participating in a system suddenly stop perceiving themselves as such but start to feel if they were actually part of the system – they perceive themselves as “foreign” things and people. Therefore they can not only provide information about the state of this system but change the mirrored original system itself by switching and solutions.
The family constellation has created a profound emotional impact for the participants and it is one – applied properly – of the most powerful healing methods that I know of. Thousands of people now report findings and spontaneous healings. It is important to find a leader who is non-interfering (letting participants find their own solutions) intuitive, loving but also courageous (talk about everything).

Deep listening


Similarly, although not focused on negative patterns, is the practice of listening. Confirmed to each other that everything that is said is confidential. Give your partner 5 minutes to talk from his/her heart about something that is really important to them. Don’t interrupter him/her under any circumstances. Listen closely and be for your partner while he talkes. Let him get your undivided attention. Lead your thoughts back to what your partner says when you feel that they are drifting away. Hold eye contact and open your heart. When you realize that you have had an opinion about something that has be said by your partner, become aware of it and redirect your attention back to your partner. When the partner is finished tell him/her about the feeling that you had while listening. But don’t judge. Ask him/her how he/she felt, to be heard in this way. Hug each other and exchang roles. (Ferrini)

Background and effect:

The better we can take the partner the way he/she is the more we will change and gain insight into our divine self.

Weekly group celebration (Paul Ferrini)


It is good to come together with other people once a week – to stay aware of the divine in all of us.

Background and Effect
We thus create a common, safe and non-judgmental energy field in which everybody can open their heart and go through their fears. By showing us our weaknesses, we can show and share our grief. We can reconcile ourselves with our brothers and sisters. In the light of unconditional acceptance and love all abuse and all the blame dissolves. This brings old and young, blacks and whites, men and women, rich and poor, educated and uneducated together in an atmosphere of love, gratitude and joy. It is a place of equality and focus on God. A safe, simple, and easily accessible place. A place of forgiveness. To maintain this place everybody contributes what is easy for them: one is to take care of cleaning the rooms, somebody else brings in some of their money, a third one is singing or making music. In this place it should be taught and demonstrated how to take responsibility for ones own thoughts and feelings. How to communicate honesty without attacking others, and how to solve conflicts peacefully. The leader of the group should be changed after one year so that this person doesn’t identify too much with his/her role. Such a space is open to all people who follow the simple rules: no judgments, don’t make yourself important, don’t talk about your believes in a pompous ceremony. All fighting for self-respect, recognition and money are to be disregarding. The most important rule is to live the spirit of love and equality. Everybody must receive approval without condition. Everyone can feel comfortable and live out their talents. Virtually in every religious community there are people that have the desire for such a loving community. When the time is right, you will find a group or start one.

Reconciliation with the partner (Hellinger)


Partner training (male / female)

Stand a few meters apart and in front of each other an open your heart.
Look past your partner and perceive their parents and all the fortunes of his family, even the heavy ones. Do so with love.
You see yourself too, there in the distance behind the partner.
Give everything to this force that is behind you: your desires, your accusations and the  blame, everything we regret. Look at what has happened, something that has maybe hurt you. Something where you feel you guilty. You look further into the distance and give it to the movement of love. There it is canceled, only there.

After a while you take a look at each other.
You say to each other: “Now it may be over, it is elsewhere now.”
Look at your partner and agree with to him, just as he is – with love.
You say: “I say yes to your destiny and your fate, as it is. I say yes to your destiny and your fate, whatever it will cost me..”

Then, look back behind you again and look at the partner’s previous relationships, with love and gratitude. Say to all of them: Thank you. We take it into our common future. It has made us richer for each other. “Also, give to god’s love what might have gone wrong in these relationships.

And you hand them over to the greater power.

Look at each other again and let yourselves be led by the inner spirit.
Stand side by side. Instead of looking at the partner, look at something that you have in common. Your children for example, or some thing else that you both serve.

Background & Impact:
Walking with the Spirit is something beautiful in itself, something big and conciliatory.
None of the partners follows the other but both follow the movement of the Spirit. Thus, they are most intimately connected with each other and simultaneously free.
A couple’s relationship can succeed only if the man respects the woman, just as she is, and the woman respects the man, just as he is. This agreement is a spiritual movement that makes the partner feel safe and free.
“Just as you are, you’re right for me – just as you are, I am enjoying you.” This joy is the best agreement and it includes the whole family of the partner including all fates.

Watch your eyes & remember


Sit facing each other without saying a word and look into your eyes. Direct your attention to the partner. Feel, what kind of thoughts and feelings arise in you but don’t judge. If criticism and negative thoughts ascend about the partner don’t push aside, but be aware of these sensations. Accept it. You love when you can say that you’re happy with the relationship and all the associated feelings. I agree to the way it is. (Ferrini)

Background and Effect:
The eyes are the gateway to the soul. If we look at each other openly and deeply, we see in others our own divine self.

Energy transmission (channeling, healing)


Open yourself up as a channel of divine energy – preferably while you put your hand on your heart – and let energy flow to the other person. If you are not trained in energy healing, it does not matter. The energy will find its way to the right place anyway.

Background & Impact

The channeling of energy is based on the assumption that we are part of the divine flow of energy through our head and feet. We can direct this energy flow through our will. If we remember that the energy flows through us, it actually begins to do so. We become a channel of divine energy. The difference, regarding the “physical exercise” is that they increase the unchanneled energy in us while the channeling exercise transfers energy consciously. Most people feel the flow of energy as heat. Otheras tingling, or a non-specific pressure. Energy can be transferred to other people through us. We consider the following:

The transfer of energy is primarily a spiritual process. It is appropriate to do so in a state of openness, joy and gratitude to God, ones inner self and others. Anyone who is angry or sick should not transmit energy. It is not us who do the healing, but the divine energy that flows through us.

Energy may be transferred only with the consent of the other! This has primarily karmic reasons: Because as humans we choose our diseases and a certain energetic life consciously on which a not considered intervention can have fatal consequences: we wipe away the energetic pattern, without the soul could make the required experience . This encroachment on the freedom of another soul will eventually fall back on us in some form. Before you will to energetic exercises on somebody, ask the people personally or better yet, his higher self through your intuition, whether the interference is allowed.
Besides the above there are some very practical reasons: the other might be in an activity that requires absolute concentration (eg, driving) while you start the remote energy-treatment.

Receiver: If the recipient does not believe in the efficacy, or his soul is not ready for a cure there can be no healing. To help you can ask him to lower his head and pray, think of something beautiful and listen to his body.

Energy is most effectively transferred directly into the energy centers (chakras). From there it will be immediately passed onto the neighboring organs. First energize the main chakras followed by the side chakras. You can also heal organs directly. The intent alone is enough already. Putting down the hands to help at the show only helps to concentrate.
The hands don’t have to touch the skin but can also remain at a distance of about 15 cm. Usually extends your left hand with the palm up, to catch the divine healing energy from above. It then runs through the heart to the other hand to the patient. There are spiritual healers who know the human anatomy so well that they can transfer energy directly into the left heart valve. A visualization of the organ is helpful but not necessary. Alone the desire, “I transmit energy to the liver” is enough already.

During the energy transmission the receiving and the healer often have images or sounds. Sometimes it brings up old, very emotional memories in the receiver.

As we heal something happens to us. The energy that flows through us, also leads us to healing. We are truthful, open and humble. We should take good care of us, eat healthy do energetic exercises regularly .

Usually, the recipient will feel a short phase of a worsening. The pain is initially becoming stronger to then decrease rapidly and disappear. This is because the body begins to stutter like an old engine with the influx of fresh energy  before it starts to eject the spent energy and heals itself.

Healing does not always occur immediately, and not in the sense that we assume. Often, the disappearance of pain leads to the emergence of a new one. Healing is only effective if the patient changes his/her surroundings and thought patterns.

The slave game


Arrange with your partner a certain period in which you follow all of his/her wishes, for example, 3 hours, or a whole day. During this time you have to do everything that  your partner requires you to do, eg: give a massage, cooking a particular food, do the shopping, wear sexy underwear, call his/her mother, visit an amusement park, etc. Everything is allowed. Only extremely violence and humiliating commands should be prohibited.
Your partner should really let go of himself during his time and concentrate on his/her pleasure – because the next day it’s all over, and then it’s your turn …

Background & Impact:
The slave game shows you your unconscious desires on each other. Because it is identified as a rule of the game to respond only to the wishes of a partner you can explore your true desires without regard for the other. That’s not as easy as it sounds! But the more you go with it, take on the other one a little harder and enjoy all your commands, the more you will learn about each other. This game will – played correctly- bring you to your limits and expand your perspective enormously.

Dine with friends


Invite your favorite friends to a dinner. Cook something good, maybe even together, light candles, chat.

Background & Impact:
The re-connecting with friends strengthens our self-esteem and sense of belonging. Through conversations with people we trust, we can express and digest unresolved thoughts, help others, and find some important things for us or our profession.

Role reversal


If you have fight with someone, slip through thoughts and words into his/her role in a personal meeting. Mirror the ideas of others. Think like him/her and try to understand his/her motives better he/she understands them. Then attempt to find a common alternative.

Background and Effect:

The identification with the ideals and ideas of the other means that we develop an understanding of his/her situation. (Method of the Hawaiian Kahunas).

Day of mirrors


From time to time, it is important to each other and all judgments openly admit in a spirit of loving kindness.
We reflect our experiences with each other and are grateful for the tools of our development to be divine. We say a round one after another in peace, gratitude, and I-messages, without being interrupted, everything that bothers us. Then we say everything we value. This can happen to an individual person or to an entire group. For example, “I do not like / What bothers me is … because …”, then “I like / I guess … because …” The others wait 30 seconds after the last speaker has spoken and we thank internally for the honesty. Then the next person’s turn. The messages are not commented on this day.

Background and Effect:

All encounters with other people are in fact reflections of his own state of mind. If we are friendly, there are also others. If we are honest with ourselves, there are also others. Similarly, in evil. The fact that we admit to our judgments, we show that we are not these judgments, but the other side of it standing, still divine power.

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